Terry Gross. They spanned a broad range of races, religions, classes and sexual orientations. Author Peggy Orenstein knows that talking to your son about sex isn't easy: "I know for a lot of parents, you would rather poke yourself in the eye with a fork than speak directly to your son about sex — and probably he would rather poke himself in the eye with a fork as well," she says. But we don't have "the luxury" to continue avoiding this conversation, she says. Orenstein spent 25 years chronicling the lives of adolescent and teen girls and never really expected to focus on boys. Orenstein notes that society doesn't often give boys "permission or space" to discuss their interior lives. Maybe that's why the young men she spoke to were so eager to open up: "When they had the chance [to talk], when somebody really gave it to them and wasn't going to be judgmental about what they had to say, they went for it. Orenstein says the boys she spoke with felt constrained by traditional notions of masculinity. One interviewee confided that he preferred to partner with girls for school projects because, "It was OK to say you didn't know what you were doing with a girl, and you couldn't do that with a guy. Your purchase helps support NPR programming.


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Both Peggy Orenstein and Cara Natterson have children who — deliberately, I assume — are mentioned only occasionally in their excellent books about raising better boys. Instead, Orenstein relies on the revealing and sometimes painfully intimate interviews she conducted over the course of two years with boys aged 16 to 22, and Natterson draws from years of practical experience as a pediatrician, and her ability to boil down complicated scientific studies to their tablespoon of curative parental medicine. But the personal stakes for both authors are clear, and urgent. These writers are worried. Our boys get awkward and quiet; we parents get awkwarder and quieter. To her credit, Orenstein acknowledges her biases. Orenstein takes the same eagle-eyed approach to jock culture, rape culture, L. Oh my God, the porn. As for how? Better yet, read these books in tandem.
Maybe you remember the day your own arrived. Our boys have a lot to say, and they need as much help as possible in finding alternatives to Dick School. Salon spoke recently to Orenstein via phone about her new book, and the secrets boys told her that "pierced my heart. I'm so glad that you decided to do this pivot to talking about boys, because they're integral to the conversation and they really are so not a part of it. What I realized very early on was that we have been talking to girls for.